Not a good day today, I felt awesome during my run. Felt pretty good when I got dressed. Was chipper when I got to work (I'm getting a new computer, YAY!) So I'm looking through pics from my bday and I start getting depressed. All of sudden my arms look huge, I'm seeing bulges in places where bulges shouldn't be.
No, I'm not at my biggest.. EVER. Yes, I'm trying to at least lose the 5lbs I gained since September. But right now I just feel LARGE. It's funny because some days I look in the mirror and feel great. Like when I took those pics, I felt good about how I looked that night. Why didn't that translate to the pics? It also doesn't help that for the first time ever, I'm the biggest woman in my office. I'm surrounded by skinny broads who moan about being fat all day.
I'm working hard to develop endurance and I know eventually once I build speed the weight will fall off. But I'm being impatient, and expecting immediate results. In my 20s I did diet pills ALOT, so I was used to seeing quick drops. I want to hop on the scale and see the 3-4lbs down. Damn you Biggest Loser and Celebrity Fit Club, and damn you federal government for banning PhenFEN.
Luckily, I know in my heart I'm just having a moment and all that I desire will soon come with more hard work and perserverence. No more magic pills, or quick fixes just healthy eating and excersise.
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